Take a look at my life. I’m 28. I don’t go to the doctor unless I’m incapacitated. I don’t exercise. If I didn’t have to go to work, then I’d do drugs. I’d do a lot of drugs. I sit all day - for 10 hours at work, and then when I get home I either sit in front of my computer or on my couch. I ingest copious amounts of caffeine and nicotine. I am a gluttonous, ravenous fuck who eats shitty food constantly.
The only healthy thing I do in life is drink a lot of water.
But through the miracle of genetics, I am slim and almost handsome. I live the way internet assholes think fat people live, and I could probably die any minute. But I look like this:
And so people aren’t rude to me. They don’t tell me I have a great personality, or that they wish more people were like me, or that I’m not healthy enough, or that I should change the way I live. They don’t tell me about their cousins who changed their lives and look great now. They don’t fucking get up in my shit with unwelcome advice or bullshit fake concern.
But I’m unhealthy as fuck. I could die at any fucking moment - the first 28-year old ever to die of a heart attack that wasn’t caused by narcotics or a birth defect - and no one ever brings it up to me. Shit, I’d give 10:1 odds in favor of any “fat” person I know being healthier than I am. So why do people laugh at my jokes while they verbally assault thick people on the internet?
For starters, I’m a dude. People don’t care if dudes are fat, because people who care if people are fat are normally dudes who think women should conform to weird beauty standards. All women to them are potential booth-babes in the sad sci-fi convention of their pitiful lives. Can’t jerk of to you because you don’t look like Lara Croft? Well get the fuck off my internet then!
Seriously, guys, if anyone really gave two flying fucks about anyone’s health, they’d be breaking down the doors to my office to make me go on vacation.
THIS.
